A Collection of Monster Truck Analogies

I like the way they smash things

In the Beginning

With a screech the alarm clock went off. Rolling over in his filth encrusted bed, Jimmy fumbled about a bit, knocking a few cockroaches loose from his undergarments, to turn the alarm clock off. Jimmy gave a big smile. Today was going to be a very important day. Stretching a bit, he squelched his way across the swamp like carpet of his room to his closet, freeing a colony of rats that had been trapped inside. Humming cheerfully, he extracted his best suit from the fetid bowels of the closet. It was mangy and moist, but still rather much more pleasant than the rest of his clothes. Yellow light shone through the window, though the color owed more to the layer of grime covering the entire thing, indeed, the whole wall it was mounted on, rather than a unique trick of the light itself. With some difficulty Jimmy managed to get the suit on, brushing off the more aggressive fungal colonies as he did so.

Jimmy ventured out into the rest of the house, always a tricky thing to do when plague bearing vermin are about. It was worth it, though, he knew. Today things would change. It would be different. It was, in fact, worth entering the kitchen for, to see if the refrigerator had grown any interesting new things to eat. He’d want to be at his best for when the big moment arrived.

A few hours later, as Jimmy has just about finished his fill of new organic growths, the doorbell rang. Jimmy’s face lit up. It was here. It was time.He dashed to the front door, only stopping briefly when he tripped over a small mound of rat corpses. Jimmy flung the front door open with much enthusiasm. He got a brief glimpse of a man in a brown uniform before the man screamed and booked it across the yard. Jimmy didn’t care, however. What mattered to him was the package. Inside was a laptop he had ordered. A real computer. Jimmy gave a wide grin that, had the delivery man seen it, would have justified his flight back to the van. It was time for Jimmy to start a blog.

  • 7 April 2012
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